Here are more exerpts from my journal from back in the middle of february…
Today while rounding one mom was trying to convince another mom that taking her child to Libreville for a medical test should be done for the good of the child– no matter the cost or inconvenience. The other mom had never even been to Libreville for anything in her whole life. There are two different worlds, even here. Some people come to Bongolo because we are “the best,” others because we are the closest. These are such different reasons, but both are part of the calling, part of the mission. Neither does God’s service without the other.
We are tempted to wonder about this divide between the “rich” and “poor” among the gabonese and seek solutions to be integrated into the mission… yet is all of life really a problem placed in front of us to solve? Part of me wants to say ‘yes’- that is being Christ’s hands and feet. Yet a bigger part of me wants to step back first. How many steps back does it take?
I feel like I’m catching glimpses of heaven, glimpses of God- how people value their own lives differently, their own flesh & blood. We can delineate the differences– education, environment, family values, travel experiences, money– but none of these matter in God’s eyes.
The eyes of men are blind to the wisdom of God, but the wisdom of God is not blind to the eyes of men.
He formed and redeemed us before He taught us how to live- He knows us intimately. It should not be our goal to seek solace in the wisdom of God, but to learn to see eye to eye with the man He has created. In one breath we praise our superior ability to decide how our lives will happen and in the next we take comfort in the plans of our awesome God– is there any doubt we are but confused beings, our religion elevating us no more than our salaries?
Are we more than bearers of our circumstances?
We have but one choice- to love or to hate- the rest is a gift. Blessed are we- not blessed to solve all the problems or cure all the ignorance- blessed only to love. And where the river flows less abundantly, the birth of hope. For hope sees the temporary nature of all that is lacking and waits for the ultimate gift.