wake up call…

icu

As you know, I have been working in the ICU the last couple weeks.  This can be depressing at times.  I think Jeff mentioned that one of my very first patients died almost right away.  Every night I get “changeover” from the day interns, learning about what is going on with the patients I will follow and what I might have to do for them.  Tonight, at changeover three patients had either passed away or were on a “terminal wean” from the ventilator, which means that they plan to take the ventilator and breathing tube out, but that the person will likely not be able to live without it.  Two of these patients I have followed several days now and did not realize they were that bad.  Granted, being in the ICU already means it’s pretty bad, but some really aren’t as bad as others.  Up until this point, I had pretty much escaped facing death in the medical setting.  I think it is necessary, especially to see that modern medicine can’t fix everything and sometimes it is just the end.  It is still hard to come in every day and face some patients with futility.  Good way to start off the year?  Maybe.

2 thoughts on “wake up call…

  1. You are stronger than I could ever be in situations like that! I could never deal with death like that on a daily basis. This feeling of helplessness now will surely make you appreciate the amazingly good things you will be able to do for your patients down the road. And it is a good reminder that ultimately the life and health of your patients are in God’s hands. Keep being strong, babe!

  2. Meghan, I am sure dealing with death isn’t easy. Most of us never have to on such a hands on basis. I know the Lord is using all this to prepare you and use you, now and in the future. Whatever comes your way next will hopefully be brighter. Hang in there, I know you are doing great in a difficult situation. Carol

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